It’s so defeating, my soul feels hollowed out
But it’s how I’ve always been
It’s my cage, my cell, my pen I’m living in
Say “Cut the locks, bend the bars, break the wall”
That’s all easier said than done
Cuz it’s like I try to walk away
It feels easier just to stay
So the bed that I made is the grave where I’ll lay
Such a shame

This pain has taken a hold of me
With a grip that will. never. release

I’m repeating the same mistakes I’ve made
(Believing I’ve come so far)
And it keeps putting me back in the same place
(And leaving just gets so hard)
So why try when I fail
(Over and over again)
I’ll just hide, from myself
(Hoping I can pretend)
Imperfect humans being
Imperfect human beings

With another breath fleeting from my lungs
lost memories of being happy, of feeling whole

Now I'm engulfed with this sensation of sinking, I’ve fallen into this hole

So after all this time, I’ve had enough to think
Probably way too much to drink and I’m feeling every little thing
The sting of knowing that I’ll never truly rest for things I know I shouldn’t have said and beliefs that poisoned every little thought left in my head
But all of this can’t slow me down
And no drugs can shut it out
Which wall will stop me now?
No space for peace of mind
No room for compromise
No love to victimize.
(What if we could be together and so free
Would you give me a reason
To burn it to the ground
We feel so sick and now
I feel like everything keeps calling me back)

(But if we don’t let go, time won’t move on)

What if all you know, is letting go, how can you hold on to hope?

The fall didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would but it’s not over yet,
The earth shifts underneath my back
I wasted years of my life trying to fortify a wall that was never there
So was it me or my panic attacks
That broke false sense of balance, that momentary stasis
It’s both deadly and beautiful to run out of solutions
Remember me as a fork in the road
Paint a picture in which I’m half of a feather you let go

It’s drifting and fading, but if that’s how you need me
Then I’m resting and longing, for resolution -

Put bright shades on dark memories, if they show through, keep painting
Keep working, forgetting, you know it’s what’s best - let go

You know it’s what’s best - let go
You’re half as strong as you know